MUSIC || missing: have you seen this man?

In 2007, he released his debut, self-titled album. Then he disappeared. You'd think he'd be hard to miss with the gigantic curly 'fro, soulful songs, and (in my opinion) an AMAZING voice.

His name: Kevin Michael. Known for such songs as "If I Ain't Got You" and "It Don't Make Any Difference To Me." The album is full of topics covering love to race to break-ups to lust.

I'm 3 years late to this party. But I. LOVE. HIM. Ok, I know, I love everybody it seems. But his voice is. . . I can't really describe it. He sings. No gimmicks. No tricks. Just pure vocalization. And it's refreshing.

I can't find anything new on him. That saddens me. I hope he's still out there. Somewhere. Making music. And if you've seen him or heard from him, please let me know. I'd appreciate it.

And just for fun: Kevin Michael covering Rihanna's "Umbrella." In love. That's all.

LOVE || so hard to find one.

My peer group is moving into the marrying/settling down age, and while some of my friends are getting serious or getting married, there are still a good number of us who seem and feel far from it. I read article and article on how it's really hard to be a Black woman and find a successful Black man who is not intimidated by all that she has accomplished. Then I found this: "I'm Black, Single, and Insulted." I really enjoyed her take on the statistics about Black women not marrying -- and the idea that women who put their success first, know that they are focusing on their careers at that time.

On the other side, there was also this which was linked on Twitter" The post is a very candid look at reasons why it seems hard for a woman to find a match in a mate. "Women Don't Intimidate Good Black Men."

I really think it's a blend and there are a myriad of reasons why we're not marrying at faster rates. What do you think about it?

MUSIC || still beamin': musings on lupe fiasco and my relationship with hip hop.

(long post warning)

PROLOGUE:
"Hip hop just saved my life" When I sang that line along with hundreds of Lupe Fiasco fans on Wednesday night, I felt like I was lying. I'm pretty sure there were a number of people in attendance who had their lives saved by hip hop in some way. Hip hop has been an integral part of their beings for almost as long as they can remember. Hip hop has gotten some of them through the rough times in life. For me, not so much. Really, if my sixteen year-old self witnessed me at a rap concert, she'd be very surprised. If she knew I attended two rap concerts in the course of a year, she'd probably faint. If she knew I enjoyed the entire thing. Both times. She'd probably never would have gotten up.

Chapter I.
I don't remember the first time I met Lupe Fiasco the way I remember meeting Mos. I think it was the "Kick, Push" video. But, I'm not sure about that either. I just know somehow I ended up buying the album and I couldn't stop listening to it. There were stories and complicated lyrics and uniquely arranged patterns and topics that ranged from love to death to religion and I ate it up. He does this thing I call mirroring, where he'll repeat the same verse with a slight variation and a entirely new meaning can come of it. Every time I listened to it, I learned something new about a song, the artist, art, myself. I agreed with him, I was challenged by him. I fell in love with this art, with lyrics, with beats, with stories, with a man's mind and what comes out of his mouth.

Chapter II.
I stood in line so nervous. We got tickets the day they were available to buy, so them running out of tickets was not the problem. I was just nervous. Looking back, I was probably wondering if I appreciated this music enough to be surrounded by die-hard fans who could recite every lyric (I can't memorize rap lyrics for the life of me). After I left the concert and thought, I realized that that was a really dumb thing to think. Every person appreciates music, art, whatever in a different way. I used to be the type of person like, well hey, if y'all weren't up on (ABC artists) before their first hit single, you're not a real fan or whatever. Not like that anymore. Lots of things have kicked me off of my music snob pedestal and I'm glad I'm off of it now.


Chapter III.
Energy everywhere. That's basically the only way I can describe my concert experience. We started with B.o.B., who is basically a ball of energy jumping around a stage. His music is cool, too. Then Lupe took the stage and I could feel the energy wave through the crowd. Every song, of course, was my favorite song. I remembered why I loved songs and what they made me feel when I first heard them.
I'm a lyrics girl. You can win me over with lyrics. The energy is in the words. In the stories. The beats, music, whatever push it along, but it's all about the stories. Lupe's got lyrics. He's got stories. He's got heart. You can see his passion for what he's talking about. You can see his passion for music. You can see his passion about people around him. You can see all this by just watching him on stage.

Epilogue.
So, no, hip hop didn't save my life. But it definitely changed it. It got me expanding my limits of what constitutes art, music, expression. It got me out of music snobbery. It heightened my love of language and what can be done with it. Rap, hip hop, hasn't always been an integrel part of my life. But if it was only for people who came out of the womb bobbing their heads, it would not be alive today. It crosses lines, changes minds, and opens eyes. I'm glad it crossed my way. No, Lupe is not the only reason I was touched, but he's played a huge part in my appreciation of art of all kinds. Yeah.

I really hope I get to see Lupe Fiasco in concert again.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe

Yes. Yes. Yes.
Today's been pretty bad, disappointing, sad. I sometimes feel alone, and I'm thankful I have people who stick with me when those feelings come and when they go. They don't leave me when I'm down. They deserve the me I love to be.

FOOD & LOVE || cupcakes and cuties 3

Valentine's Day is approaching. Yay!


Cupcakes and Cuties is a great way to celebrate it, or not celebrate it. If you've a Valentine, great. If you don't have one, even better. Yay for a girls' night with cupcakes and wine and conversation. If you want an invite, and I haven't sent you one already, comment here and I'll get on that!

LOVE || coming soon.

Valentine's Day is coming.
I am excited because V-Day is my favorite holiday. That's weird because I never have a Valentine. And I love V-Day just the same.

I'm a sucker for love, I guess.

LOVE || don't need a love song. . .

I was listening to the radio a while ago and they were discussing why women of color don't get married, or asked to marry. Different thoughts were thrown out including men not knowing what kind of woman they'd like to marry. On the other hand, it was pointed that women have no idea of what kind of person they'd want for a life partner.

I used to say I don't know what kind of man I'd like in my life, but I think it's a bit clearer now. It is interesting that what I'd want in a guy is what I'd like in any friend.
So here's my list. He should:

• Be funny
• Be genuinely nice
  
• Be supportive of my goals and have goals that he's working on that I can be supportive of in return
  
• Be open to new experiences, places, people, things.
• Be interested in and appreciative of different forms of art.
  
• Always be willing to learn something new.
  
• Be more doer than talker. Life is short, talking about things can go on forever.
  
• Be funny. Again. I love a good sense of humor.
• Be a great conversationalist. I love exchanging ideas.
• Find that being involved in the community is important and find a way to be involved. Large or small.
  

I don't think that list is too long. I mean, I can go on with even more specifics, like him liking coffee shops or posh bars for dressing up and chatting, or cooking, or other smaller thingsbut that's neither here nor there. So that just about sums it up.

Does anyone else have a list?

Thanks for reading.





*Listening to N.E.R.D. "Love Bomb" *

UPDATE || on the topic of being thankful:

I am thankful that I was able to be a part of Mosaic Youth Theatre of Detroit. I was a singer and my life was greatly enriched by being a part of this organization. I knew once I graduated from the program, I wanted my career to be in the arts.

Take time to vote so that they can have more funding to continue to allow young people express themselves and get quality training in the performing arts! (You have to fan Chase Community Giving in order to vote.)

LIFE || thankful.

It's a good thing to reflect and see how many reasons there are to be thankful. I've been doing that a lot lately. Maybe because it's because of the approaching holiday season or maybe it's something else--I don't really know. What I do know is I have lots of reasons to be thankful right now, at this time in my life.

• I am thankful that I am here at this time. I feel like this is a time for me to learn and grow.
• I am thankful for a wonderful family.
• I am thankful for a mother who raised us, kept us safe, taught us well, covered us with love, made us her priorities, and even spoiled us a bit.
• I am thankful for my friends, near and far, who still talk to me even with my problems and lapses in communication.
• I'm thankful for my sisters. We're growing closer everyday and I love it.

• I'm thankful that I have my own place and can get the things I need.
• I'm thankful to be able to be an artist.
• I'm thankful that I had an opportunity to go to college and grad school.

• I am thankful that there is love, of all kinds, in my life.
  
• I am thankful that I am not where I was emotionally or mentally six months ago.
• I am thankful that I started caring about me.
• I am thankful for the tough lessons. They are not always pretty or packaged neatly, but at least I'm learning.
  
• I am thankful for realization. When you open your eyes you can't close them to hide mess anymore.
  

LOVE || love and fighting the funk

I feel like I talk about love all the time. I definitely think about it all the time. I think it's mostly because I feel love a lot lately. Or at least I've been taking the time to process how love manifests itself in my life. I've become more aware of what love means to me in the scheme of things. And I'm not talking about romance here, though that is something nice to have. But I'm exploring love again, from the love I feel for myself and my continuous amazement of the things I can do when I take a little time and use a bit of effort, to the love I feel when I step into a room full of friends I've not seen in a while.

I have this complex, I guess, where I love to be alone. I love living by myself and having my own space. I like being comfortable there. But there comes a time where I get a bit down and I feel that no one really realizes I'm here. And there lies the problem. But there is also a solution: Finding ways to surround myself with people I love and who love me back. I spent time with sorors on Thursday. I had lunch and shopping time with my sister on Friday. I spent the entire morning with my mother. I had to put it back that people really do care.

And this is where the love comes in. When I'm feeling down and lonely, the fact that I can even call these people up and I get a 'yes' with no hesitation says something. Something like: I am loved.

I'm fighting the funk.
It's hard, but it's not that hard.

LOVE & LIFE || surrounded by love.

I spent the weekend surrounded by love.
I went to my family reunion for the second time. My father's father's people. Amazing people with strong genes and a stronger sense of family. From the time I showed up at our 70's-themed dance, I knew it was going to be a good time. There was laughing, there was dancing, jokes were told and hugs were given freely.

I was surrounded by love.

Everyone knew that we belonged to my daddy. Even people I never met. We looked, well I looked just like "Chauls!" Didn't I look just like "Chauls?" (Charles) What can I say, I favor my daddy, but then everyone favored everyone because they have some strong genes. I found out where my thick head of hair, that had lots of length when I was younger, came from. All the little girls and some grown women walked around with so much hair. Such pretty, thick hair. I saw little girls and saw my sisters and me in them. I looked at the women and realized that I had inherited some bosom. I also saw that I was not afforded their height. And my skin tone was passed on from my Texan family members on my mother's side. But, it was one of those times where I felt like I looked like members of my extended family, that I was a part of them.

I was surrounded by love.

I heard stories. So many stories about my family. Stories from everywhere and everyone. I ended up feeling closer to my father than before. I not only found out I looked like him, but that our personalities were very alike. My dad was quiet and mild and avoided confrontation when he could. But if provoked excessively and incessantly, the provoker better watch out. Things would get really serious. I laughed knowing that that personality is mine as well. I knew then, for sure, that I am my daddy's girl.

I was surrounded by love.

Now home, I am still basking in the love that was shown at that family reunion. I will cherish it forever and I'm excited about next year! I will never let years and years pass before I go to another one.

love. black love.

Because I love chocolate, India, and Musiq:

v-day blues.

Cupcakes and Cuties is still on. Wooooooooooo!
I'm excited to hang out with friends and make them happy. Well, at least try;)

At the same time, I'm kind of sad to be without a Valentine, again. (That situation is crap-tastic)
I keep saying, one day, but it doesn't happen.

But Cupcakes and Cuties will be a blast!
I still have a lot of shopping to do for it. . .
Can't wait to see how everything turns out!

one.
One thing I enjoy about being finished with classes and finals is that I can do whatever I want with my time, including waiting impatiently and excitedly and nothing else, if it so suits me. Well, I choose to do so today and will until close to six tonight. Love.

two.
Last night was photos and blogging. I support this blog: www.urbanskydiving.blogspot.com and the fun, pretty, conscious, serious girl who is writing it. Unlike mine, I'm sure this one will have a focus and a point.

three.
Over break I plan on going to Mercury Coffee Bar. Probably more than once. I am looking for people to accompany me. Thanks. I also hope I can fit in a Friday Night Live at the DIA.

four.
Happy-making thing(s) include: witnessing fly hair, photo shoot on a Tuesday night, presenting my last final project, safe travel in the snow.

five.
Yeah. I really like Common's new CD. A Lot.


Listening to Common "Make My Day"
"Yeah i think i like her because she really makes my day. . . "