I am not a very positive person.
I was not a very positive person.
I also am not a very happy person.
Now in the midst of my [post] quater-life crisis, with an unfinished Masters degree looming over my head, and a job that's not really what I want to do with my life (but at times is quite rewarding, even if time-consuming and underpaying), and wanting to make a difference in some way, and doubting my own abilities and/or expertise, and dealing with the fear to be myself, it can be very hard to be happy.
I spend lots of time looking at other people and what they're accomplishing, and questioning why I can't get out there and do the same things.
Well -- in late July, after a semi-meltdown (which included calling it off with my boyfriend - for a moment, failing miserably at this healthy eating challenge by being unprepared, and just feeling overwhelmed by life) I took a break from social media. And I picked up Everyday a Friday by Joel Osteen.
It was refreshing to not have to check in to Twitter or my drama-filled Facebook Groups. (I still don't check in as much as I used to) It was nice to have that quiet. To wake up and pull up some positive reading and do some light movement, instead of reading feeds (and getting sidetracked for 30 minutes at a time) was awesome. I know I became a bit more productive! And the book was really good. I read it slowly, a chapter or two per day.
Now it's nothing I didn't know in the book -- it's all about choosing happiness and positivity (and planting seeds of encouragement and positivity in others) -- but it was a timely reminder that happiness is a choice. Not just saying "I'm up and I'm going to be happy" but learning that you can't change what happens to you, but you can choose how you react. And a lot of times, the negative reactions cost. A lot. In your own personal happiness. It causes YOU discomfort and makes you question yourself, when really you could have chosen to take the situation down another road.
In essense, I embarked on Project Positivity! -- A conscious effort to find what makes me feel good and how I could spread feel-goodness around. A way to re-learn thinking about myself and others. Maybe it'll lead me to what I want to do in life. Or what I'm called to do in life.
But for now, here's what I've learned and want to continue:
- Eating good whole food, but not stressing over it (Diet mentality is hard to break) makes life better
- Sunshine. I need it. To move in the sunshine - I need it. (Morning walk/jogs are everything)
- Planning ahead, even a little bit is helpful.
- Saying no is ok. Really. I won't be able to please everyone.
- Writing is needed. I don't do it nearly enough.
- Quiet time (meditation or prayer or just silence) I don't do this nearly enough, but when I do it's awesome.
What are your positive steps?