get up, get out, & do something OR how not to be a clod OR becoming a FORCE

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.  - George Bernard Shaw 

The reason why I created my personal growth challenge, besides trying to rekindle all of the things that inspired me before, was to stop complaining.  Or at least get to the root of my complaining.

I'll admit:  I am not always happy with where I am in life right now.  But I was finding that my unhappiness was becoming a constant stream of complaints -- everything was going wrong.  An worse than that, I wasn't doing anything to help move me from this state of dissatisfaction. So yeah,  I am was one of those.

Here's the problem with complaining -- the more you do it the worse things become and the worse things become, the more you do it.  Frankly, you get STUCK.  You can't do anything to move forward because you know that whatever you do won't work  - you don't have time; you don't have the drive;you don't have the will anymore OR you don't have the funds; you don't have the support; you don't have the LUCK that someone else has/had.  Or you replace the don't's with if's.

Either way, stuff starts happening TO you instead of YOU making things happen.  You feel like it's you against the world, the universe, God.

So, as I was reading the Purpose-Driven Life earlier this year, and came across the above quote --- I was pretty much was called out by Mr. Shaw.  I realized that at that point, I had, indeed, become a "feverish, selfish, little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world would not devote itself to making [me] happy."

Nothing was really my fault:  I could do this but I don't have [time/money/resources].  I was constantly being acted upon, I was not acting.  I was not a force of nature.

Truth be told, I still am not a "force of nature." I haven't moved anything yet.  I'm pushing a bit more than I have. I've  I am still trying to figure out the purpose that I'm working toward that I will see as a mighty one.   Clearly, that's why I'm blogging here, getting back in touch with my life and needs and passions.   I don't have answers.  Just working through the questions one sentence at a time.

I know one thing, though-- being called a feverish, selfish clod?  I ain't here for it.  Being a FORCE, however?  I dig it.

What about you?
Do you feel like a "force of nature?"  What are you doing to become a force?  Have you figured your purpose?

finals finally finished

Well, not quite, but the bulk is done.

So I decided to make this blog public and try not to censor myself too much, which is a bit frightening. But, if people are interested in my uneventful life, then they should be able to read away.

Anyway, besides the little-sleep-getting because of finals (I made a fierce headdress for my costume class) I had a very interesting week. This is why:

One.
I stubbed my toe and couldn't dance at bellydance class and therefore, I will not be in the recital. My toe is feeling better now, though

Two.
I spent a lot of time with my younger sister and we had some bonding time and a few, deep heart-to-hearts.

Three.
I watched a lot of Wife Swap while working on projects.

Four.
I only cried once.

Five.
I had fun with my(new) chapter at our Christmas party. It is amazing how I met a soror a few years ago and now we are in the same graduate chapter. I think we are going to be friends. I also scored a yummy candle and Macy's gift card! Yay me!



Listening to Kate Nash's "Shit Song"
"baby don't give me shit, 'cause I know that you're full of it. . . "