get up, get out, & do something OR how not to be a clod OR becoming a FORCE

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.  - George Bernard Shaw 

The reason why I created my personal growth challenge, besides trying to rekindle all of the things that inspired me before, was to stop complaining.  Or at least get to the root of my complaining.

I'll admit:  I am not always happy with where I am in life right now.  But I was finding that my unhappiness was becoming a constant stream of complaints -- everything was going wrong.  An worse than that, I wasn't doing anything to help move me from this state of dissatisfaction. So yeah,  I am was one of those.

Here's the problem with complaining -- the more you do it the worse things become and the worse things become, the more you do it.  Frankly, you get STUCK.  You can't do anything to move forward because you know that whatever you do won't work  - you don't have time; you don't have the drive;you don't have the will anymore OR you don't have the funds; you don't have the support; you don't have the LUCK that someone else has/had.  Or you replace the don't's with if's.

Either way, stuff starts happening TO you instead of YOU making things happen.  You feel like it's you against the world, the universe, God.

So, as I was reading the Purpose-Driven Life earlier this year, and came across the above quote --- I was pretty much was called out by Mr. Shaw.  I realized that at that point, I had, indeed, become a "feverish, selfish, little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world would not devote itself to making [me] happy."

Nothing was really my fault:  I could do this but I don't have [time/money/resources].  I was constantly being acted upon, I was not acting.  I was not a force of nature.

Truth be told, I still am not a "force of nature." I haven't moved anything yet.  I'm pushing a bit more than I have. I've  I am still trying to figure out the purpose that I'm working toward that I will see as a mighty one.   Clearly, that's why I'm blogging here, getting back in touch with my life and needs and passions.   I don't have answers.  Just working through the questions one sentence at a time.

I know one thing, though-- being called a feverish, selfish clod?  I ain't here for it.  Being a FORCE, however?  I dig it.

What about you?
Do you feel like a "force of nature?"  What are you doing to become a force?  Have you figured your purpose?

one.
One thing I enjoy about being finished with classes and finals is that I can do whatever I want with my time, including waiting impatiently and excitedly and nothing else, if it so suits me. Well, I choose to do so today and will until close to six tonight. Love.

two.
Last night was photos and blogging. I support this blog: www.urbanskydiving.blogspot.com and the fun, pretty, conscious, serious girl who is writing it. Unlike mine, I'm sure this one will have a focus and a point.

three.
Over break I plan on going to Mercury Coffee Bar. Probably more than once. I am looking for people to accompany me. Thanks. I also hope I can fit in a Friday Night Live at the DIA.

four.
Happy-making thing(s) include: witnessing fly hair, photo shoot on a Tuesday night, presenting my last final project, safe travel in the snow.

five.
Yeah. I really like Common's new CD. A Lot.


Listening to Common "Make My Day"
"Yeah i think i like her because she really makes my day. . . "

i'm making a list. . .

. . . and checking it twice. Or thrice or lots of times. I have been pondering what my goals will be for the New Year.
I am happy to say that I have fulfilled a good portion of the goals for 2008:
I took a dance class; I went to Grad School and got closer to what I want to do with my life; I tried something new; I took a risk; I got closer to my sisters; I went on a date; I prayed more prayers of thanks than those of want; I got knitting needles and learned a stitch; I flirted; I stood up for myself; I put myself down less; I enjoyed the beauty of my body, what it looks like, what it can do, and how alive it can feel; I gave up dieting and embraced living.

Now here are the biggest things I want to do in 2009:

Health and Movement Goals:

• Take a yoga class. ( I've already looked into it and found a class that is open to lots of body types and does a lot with modifying positions for those types. I am waiting on a brochure in the mail for registration)
• Continue with bellydance. (Duh. )

Personal Growth Goals:

• Read at least one book for pleasure during the semester
• Sewing lessons with goal to build my own corset.
• Knitting lessons (or self-teaching) with goal to knit scarves.
• Take more photos of the occurrences in my life. Blog about important ones.
  

Relationship Goals

• Continue to appreciate the love that I have, in all of its manifestations. Bask in the love shown and offered to me by family, friends, loves, etc.
  
• Build stronger relationships with the above people.
• Stay open to knew experiences in and of love.
  
• Reach out to old friends or lost ones.
  

I will keep my progress posted here. I am excited for 2009. If it is anything like 2008, I am sure it will be nothing short of an adventure and a hell of a personal journey. . .


Listening to Robin Thicke "2 the Sky"
"Will I be rich? Have everything I want? I stop myself and look to the sky. I gotta give myself up to the sky. The only truth is in the sky"